A blonde is over weight, so her Doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat  the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." After two weeks the blonde goes back to see the Doctor and she has lost twenty pounds. "Why that's amazing!" The Doctor says, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead every third day!" "From hunger?" Asks the Doctor.  "NO FROM SKIPPING!" Replies the blonde.

A blonde with two red ears goes to see her Doctor. The Doctor asks her what has happened to her ears and she replies, "I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and put it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the Doctor exclaimed, "But what happened to your other ear?" "The jerk rang back!"

A blonde woman was tired of people calling her names and teasing her because of the colour of her hair, so she decided to kill herself. She found some rope and went to the park. She tied one end of the rope to a branch of a tree, climbed the tree and tied the other end of the rope around her neck. "Good Bye cruel world." and with that she slid from the branch.
A couple of hours later, a man was walking in the park, when he noticed a blonde hanging from a tree with a rope around her waist. "What are you doing?" The man asked in surprise. "I'm killing myself because the world is such an evil place!" she said with a tear in her eye. "Well isn't the rope supposed to be around your neck if you are committing suicide?" he asks. "OH I tried that, but I could not breath!"

Two blonde robbers are robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens…..Jump!" "The second one said, "But we are on the thirteenth floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"