"The more you practise the luckier you get"
"It was a 10 when it left the bow"
"The only way I can get my arrows to group is to keep them in my quiver"
"If it is not fun then you must be hitting the target"
"Archery is not a sport it is brain damage"
"Just because I dress like Robin Hood , it does not mean I can shoot like Robin Hood!!!!!"
"Remember when you don't hit what you are aiming at, it's not because of the bow or arrows, it is the JERK on the string"
"I'm not used to shooting indoors, the lack of wind confused me."
"Remember the more you shoot the more arrows you have to buy"
"Oh you wanted me to hit that target"
"To be sure of hitting the target shoot first and what ever you hit call it the target"
An archers creativeness for excuses is only limited by the number of arrows in their quiver.
"These new arrows are useless they keep going where I'm aiming instead of where they are supposed to go"
"Oh wait a second these are my practise arrows"
If the point is sharp and the arrow is quick it can pierce the dust, no matter how thick.
Archers do it with a quiver
Once they are out of the quiver there is no telling where they will end up.
"Look mate this is a 60lb longbow shooting 700gr arrows, If I had HIT the target I would have destroyed it."
"No wonder I cannot hit the target, these new arrows are straight"
Archery is 1% Form, 2% Concentration and 97% Dumb LUCK
Arrows are like lightning they only hit what they want and it is rarely where you expect to hit.
"I suffer from Fast-Flite embolism…… I have a clot on the string"
"No shot is hard to make, but a lot of them are just too easy to miss"
"Don't worry, let the arrow pick the target"
"How much does the bow weigh?"…….."About half a pound"

There are two fish in a tank and one of them says to the other," How do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a Deer with no eyes?……...No Idea (No eye deer) Get it
What do you call a Deer with no eyes and no legs?…….Still no Idea

Air Force one has crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilize, and descend on the area in force. When they got there the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burnt out hulk left smouldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The Secret Service descend on the smouldering hulk, but could find no remains of the crew or the Presidential Staff. To their amazement a lone farmer was ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing at all had happened. The Secret Service hurry over and surround the mans tractor.
"sir", the senior Secret Service Agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"
"Yup, sure did." The farmer replies unconcerned.
"Do you realize that this is the President of the United States of America's aeroplane?"
"Yup."
"Were there any survivors?" The agent asked.
"Nope, Theys were all killed straight out." The farmer sighed switching off his tractor. " I done burying them myself. It took most of the morning."
"The President of The United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief.
"Well" the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to work. "He kept a saying he wasn't,….but you know what a liar he is!"

My Mother taught me about ANTISIPATION...
"Just wait until your Father gets home."
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home."
My Mother taught me to MEET a CHALLENGE...
"What are you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!!!"
My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you're not coming to the store with me!"
My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they will freeze that way!"
My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you will never get a good job!"
My Mother taught me HUMOUR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off all of your toes, don't come running to me!!"
My Mother taught me to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat all of your vegetables, you will never grow up!"
My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your Father!"
My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand!"
My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you will have kids….Then you will see what its like!!"